The worst part about this hotel and casino is that it deteriorated quite quickly, even though it’s not that old.Ĭonstructed in 1993, Luxor already shows quite a bit of age, despite being renovated and upgraded several times since its opening. While it’s far from the worst hotel in Vegas, Luxor doesn’t really live up to the reputation it tries to set. Fat Choy is one of the best-kept secrets in Vegas and serves some of the best boas we’ve ever had.Named after the legendary Egyptian city and constructed with great ambition, the Luxor hotel and casino has certainly seen better days. Just slightly larger than a 7-Eleven, it houses more video poker machines than you can shake a tiny stick at, but it does have something that no other casino in Vegas offers: frequently served free drinks! Also, there’s a ridiculously racist-ly named restaurant called Fat Choy (which is funny ‘cause Eureka is actually the only Asian American-owned casino in Vegas). Mmmmm…the golden years.Įureka is like an ugly person who has smoked for 40 years and then punched themselves in the face for sport. Want to mosey on over to where the locals go? Of course you don’t! As if Vegas isn’t sad enough, at Longhorn you can watch as bluehairs gamble away their social security checks and then hate-fuck an ice cream scoop of mashed potatoes with their mouths. Seriously, for a good time, skip the rest stop bathroom and read the Yelp reviews on this gem. How about free bloodstains on your mattress, doors that don’t lock, or my personal favorite, piles of puke.

Some Vegas hotels/casinos will offer complimentary buffet tickets or seats to a show, but at Siegel, they like to spice things up a bit. Circus Circus is a place where childhood dreams come to get roofied, but if you’re into watching the cream of the American crop lose their shirt on a game of skee ball, this one’s a jackpot.

What says “I’m gonna rage and gamble and f-ing throw down like a drunk gorilla” more than a 100 foot tall clown holding a pinwheel? Well, just about everything.

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